One of the more interesting parts of the Caruth book for me, was the chapter where she discusses Hiroshima mon amour. I identified with the French woman’s struggle to negotiate a future for herself, while simultaneously trying to remain faithful to her past. The idea of death as intimate, and the telling of another’s death as a betrayal, was interesting. “Telling the story of her love affair with the German, telling, specifically, the story of his death, is for the woman a betrayal of the loved one who died, with the one who is alive and listens. What the woman mourns is not only the erotic betrayal, that is, but a betrayal precisely in the act of telling, in the very transmission of an understanding that erases the specificity of a death” (Caruth,  p.26). The act of telling one’s story constituting a betrayal seems to stand in contrast to some of the ideas posed in both the Henry 2006 and Denham 2008 articles. In the case of the French woman, perhaps telling her story was not helpful in helping her map the trauma in time and space, situating her within a larger narrative context. I wonder if more accurately, she was not far enough in her own healing process- in coming to terms with her German lover’s death- to have the act of telling be a helpful tool for her to move forward.

Forgetting as a form of betrayal is also a theme in this chapter. “Oh! It’s horrible. I’m beginning to remember you less clearly. I’m beginning to forget you. I tremble at the thought of having forgotten so much love…” (Caruth, p.32). It is as if she cannot forget the trauma of his death, without forgetting the beauty of their love. “To be reasonable here is no longer to cling madly to the memory of her lover’s death; it is to exit into the freedom of forgetting… Freedom from madness is thus equated with the forgetting that began her sane seeing and knowing, a freedom that is fundamentally a betrayal of the past” (Caruth, p.32-33). I don’t know that I agree that forgetting is necessarily a fundamental betrayal of the past. I think sometimes we must allow ourselves to forget the specificity of trauma in order to move forward. I think there is also fear associated with this concept, in that by forgetting, we may also be more susceptible to repeating past mistakes- to recreating that trauma again in our lives.

I agree with Caruth’s analysis, that there is freedom in forgetting. I think that reliving specific events of trauma can be detrimental to forward movement and healing. Maybe I keep the journals because knowing that I can reference the details of the experience if I need to, has allowed my heart and mind to let go of specificity of the trauma. And in not having to carry that around, I’ve been able to actually move forward. With regard to healing and resiliency following traumatic experience, I think allowing oneself to forget is a useful tool. Letting go of the old memories can create a space to make new memories. Perhaps to forget is not to betray the past, but to honor the present.